The Summer 15

WARNING:
The following presentation contains images that may be disturbing to some readers.

Empty promises

Every school year, around April or May, I start making promises to myself. You know the ones: I promise not to sit around and be lazy this summer. I promise not to eat junk food all summer. I promise to get off the couch and be active -- maybe even exercise!

I make these promises with every intention of keeping them. After all, it's to my advantage to keep them, if only so that I can fit back into my school clothes when August rolls around. But every school year, around June 4, I rediscover two things: 1. I'm exhausted. 2. I like junk food. And the promises are long forgotten.

Reality

It's fun to think about the differences between how I imagine my summer will be and how it actually is; I should create one of those humorous memes for that. In April or May, I imagine skipping merrily through a field of flowers, running around at the park with my kids, going on a fabulous beach vacation, and eating fresh farmer's market fruits and vegetables, all so that I can wear short shorts in public without scaring people. But in June -- and especially by July -- there are no fields of flowers (all dead from the heat), I don't run and it's too hot to go to the park anyway, I have no money for a fabulous beach vacation, and the fruits and vegetables don't make up for all the ice cream, cheeseburgers, and cupcakes I indulge on during the summer.

So what really happens is that I come home, throw all my personal school stuff I had to bring home into storage (behind the couch), and sleep for a few days. Then I set up my nest on the couch:

And I only get up for emergencies.

Hence, the title of this blog post. It has become my routine to gain about 15 pounds every summer, and I blame The System. You see, they keep us teachers so overworked and stressed from August to June that when we have our few weeks off, we need some serious recovery and rehabilitation. My rehab consists of:
* the aforementioned ice cream, cheeseburgers, and cupcakes
* donuts (I've had 4.25 donuts today alone)
* restaurant food at least three times a week
* pizza
* chocolate ... lots and lots of chocolate

Good, bad, and ugly

Now, I have decided to embrace The Summer 15, and here is why: I get a new wardrobe every summer since my old clothes no longer fit. So why fight it? The good news is that I usually lose those 15 pounds within the first six weeks of the school year. The bad news is that the longer I teach, the more comfortable I become, making it difficult to lose the weight since there is much less stress and starvation than there was when I was a rookie. Sure, it would probably be a good idea to stop eating so much junk and to get off this couch for a minute, and I'm sure I'll try to do that ... tomorrow.