The Beginning

What I thought it would be like

My journey in the field of education began in 2008 with a pocketful of ideas and rose-colored glasses.

I had just left my career in journalism, completed an alternative certification program, and was ready to dive headfirst into a middle school language arts classroom. I was certain that all of my lovely students would be just as lovely as I was when I was in middle school, and they would all be deeply inspired by my loveliness, and they would absolutely adore being in my class, and I would be named Teacher of the Year immediately.

If only I had known I would dive right into the pits of Hell and fall flat on my face.

What it was really like

Yes, I exaggerate, but ... not really. What I discovered was that school was nothing like how school was when I was a kid. Students were nothing like they were when I was a kid. And I had no idea what I was doing. I was dumbfounded, flabbergasted, in utter shock. Let me set the scene for you:

* A Title I school in an urban area in which most of the students were English language learners living in poverty
* A majority of students reading and writing at least two levels below grade level
* Students running wild in the hallways, shouting and pounding on lockers
* Profanities bouncing off the walls
* Students vandalizing restrooms and classrooms
* Students cursing at and even physically harming teachers
* Pregnant girls -- too many to count -- in middle school!

All of my planning for cute getting-to-know-you activities, my grand introduction, my community-building was crushed, obliterated, forgotten. Students were obnoxiously rude to me and to each other, and I was completely thrown for a loop -- did kids really act this way? What in the world happened? When I was in middle school, we wouldn't have dreamed of sassing the teacher, skipping class, throwing things across the room, stealing things off the teacher's desk. Was this some crazy Twilight Zone episode? Was I on Candid Camera? I mean, really. What in the world had I gotten myself into?

The intervention

It took every ounce of courage in me not to turn around and run out through the metal detectors that first day ... and every day after that for the first three months. I believe I cried every day for the first three months (yes, sometimes in front of the students). By Week 4, I was on the phone with my alternative certification adviser, asking him what my options were if I wanted to back out.

Then my fabulous team of ELA teachers and my district mentor held an intervention. They coached me, encouraged me, held me up. Somehow, they got me through that first year. My mentor visited me during my worst class to offer advice; the district strategist modeled lessons for me; my supervisor sent me to classroom management training; my fellow teachers allowed me to send trouble students to their classrooms. Everyone showed more belief in me than I had in myself. I would not have survived had it not been for my co-workers. That being said, by April, I had my classroom all packed up for summer; I was more than ready for the year to be over.

The kicker

After a nightmare of a first year, you may be wondering why I came back. I've heard many times that most new teachers don't last three years. I could have been one of those statistics ... if it hadn't been for one little girl named Lizette. Sometime at the end of May, when we received our state standardized test scores, my outlook changed. Lizette scored a 100 on the reading exam. An English language learner, super quiet, excellent student, hard worker, but struggled with English -- she didn't miss a single question! When we first got the results, we were told we couldn't tell the students yet, but I couldn't wait to tell Lizette. I wrote "You got a 100!" on a sticky note and secretly slipped it on her desk while she was working on something. When she looked at the note, I saw her face visibly light up, eyes wide and grinning from ear to ear. At the end of class, while the other students were rushing out the door, Lizette came up to me and thanked me and gave me a hug. "It's because of you," she said, "because you taught me."

And that was it. How could I not return?

Visit me on TeachersPayTeachers